The lights are low, the playlist is perfect, the sheets are silky and you are ready for some outrageously hot sex with your partner. You’re moving and shaking and everything seems to be going well until…it’s not.
You and your partner used to have the greatest sex on the planet. Your bodies fit together in just the right way, and getting busy was a given no matter the time of day. But lately, sex for them just isn’t a priority, and they’d seemingly rather take out the garbage than pull you into a sultry embrace.
Why do these things happen? Well, there are probably as many answers to that question as there are people. Is the sexual dysfunction physiological? Psychological? Hormonal? Emotional? Relational? Could be any or all of the above.
So what’s a desirous partner to do? Here are our recommendations:
- Communicate – gently ask your partner if they have a sense of what might be going on, and how they are feeling about it. Express your concerns, and strategize next steps.
- Ask your partner to check in with their medical provider. And because sexual issues are not in every clinician’s wheelhouse, seeking out a specialist may be an important piece of the puzzle. This might be a urologist, behavioral therapist, sex therapist, couples therapist, midwife, gynecologist, psychiatrist, pelvic floor physical therapist, endocrinologist, etc.
- Understand treatment options, which might include medication, medical procedures, talk therapy, exercises, educational resources, lifestyle changes (like getting enough sleep and regular exercise and eating well), et al.
- Make sure you support them. There may be a role for you to play, and that role could be key to your partner’s healing. It’s also important to understand that their issues may have nothing to do with you, which is challenging. It’s hard not to internalize a partner’s sexual difficulties, which is all the more reason to prioritize clear, supportive and respectful communication.
At Maze, you’ll find healthcare professionals who can provide many of the specialties and treatments listed above.
Our biggest piece of advice? DON’T WAIT. While some sexual problems clear up on their own, most others do not. And early intervention is everyone’s best friend.