Men love their penis (hence the dick pic). It’s a bit irrational, this love affair, but nevertheless, it’s there. This is key to understanding how men relate to their penis and how they relate to other people with/through their penis. I actually had one guy say that his wife was lucky because he shared his dick with her(!). At their most primal, men seem to want to share their penis with the world – perhaps seeking validation or approval. Whatever the motivation, men have been encouraged in this delusion by the larger culture. So, when I asked a guy what his partner might think about his penis, he answered, “She loves it – well . . . I hope she likes it.” Things get more complicated if I ask them how much she thinks about his penis when she thinks about him…
“Not sure . . . maybe she does?” I then ask the guys how much they focus on their partner’s vagina. I will ask a guy “When you think about your lover, do you mainly think about her vagina?” They quickly laugh and admit that isn’t even part of the equation. So, when it comes to sex, why have men been told to lead with their penis – instead of their heart? I wish I knew the answer to that question! In my work with men, I talk about using their penis as a tool to communicate erotic energy with their partners. Then I ask, “How effective a communicator is your penis?” Every guy knows that when it comes to expressing how he feels about his partner, the penis is not the best medium. We talk about the role of other body parts that are far more expressive. Yeah, the penis can be a lot of fun! But it’s not the star of the show most men have been taught. When it comes to erotic play, lips, tongues, teeth, fingers, skin, and even hair is way up there. Expanding our vocabulary of touch will only enhance sex. Interested in learning about some other Myths? Download our free e-book to find out the rest.
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