Those of you who work out might be familiar with the expression “time under tension, or TuT” According to Men’s Journal, TuT “refers to how long a muscle is under strain during a set.” This can be a very effective way to strengthen your biceps and quads, but what about a relationship under quarantine? For those of us sheltering in place together, there’s been an awful lot time under an inordinate amount of tension. And that can result in rifts, resentments and regret.
On a good day – for even the most compatible of couples – peace, love and understanding are earned, not distributed freely. So now, while we’re still struggling to get through the live long COVID19 day, a misinterpreted comment or facial expression might send you over the edge.
There are several things you can actively do to try and keep the ship afloat, but for now, let’s focus on two of the most important:
- Acknowledge one another. Pandemic or not, this is absolutely critical to any successful relationship. Everyone needs to be seen and heard and recognized.
- Acknowledge yourself. Take frequent breaks, and plan to spend even just a few minutes a day alone. If you don’t have a separate space to call your own, even 5 minutes behind a bathroom door can do the trick.
Talk to your partner during a moment of calm and establish some acknowledgement ground rules, and see where there’s room for give and take. Practicing these behaviors won’t guarantee romantic harmony 24-7, but they will go a long way under current circumstances and throughout your partnership.